


His Candle

by Sydy



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, M/M, Romantic Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-07-07 08:16:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15904422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sydy/pseuds/Sydy
Summary: Taako doesn't think he has a soulmate anymore. He has lived on over a hundred different planes, and all signs point to him never returning to Tosun. Kravitz died centuries ago, leaving his soulmate to a life without him. The last thing either of them expects to find their soulmate in each other. (Background Blupjeans. Warnings for emotional manipulation from Sazed.)





	His Candle

The planes are held together by a series of bonds; bonds created through friendship and bonds that are cultivated carefully as people dance around each other in life. Some are so strong they carry a presence in daily life. Bonds like that of a soulmate can be the strongest. They can also be the most fragile. The words printed into everyone’s skin are unique. They represent the first thing your soulmate says after they realize they truly love you. Each race has their own belief on what the bond represents. The elves believe this bond is a tie to their many past lives. Certain souls are linked through their lives and fated to always find each other, or at least that’s what Taako grew up being told. For all he knew, it was a lie because they also said the words don’t even have to be said to him. He might never hear these words if they’re right. Some people claim that you can love someone for a long time before you fall in love with them. That love extends deeper than feelings. Love is what links their souls together and once someone says these words they are confirming their soul’s connection and ensuring it’s continued existence, and to Taako, that just sounded like a sap’s excuse for never having heard the words on their arm leave their “soulmates” mouth.  
Taako knew what the words on his arm were. He knew someday someone might tell him “I could listen to you talk all day.” He knew someday he might whisper the words printed across someone’s arm to himself or to them, but he never set out to find that person. If they were right it was fated that he’d eventually meet them. Searching for them seemed to defeat the purpose of that fate. Besides, Taako wasn’t into all the sappy romantic stories of people setting out on journeys across the plane to find their soulmate or the stories of falling into love with another person and whispering these words in the quiet of the night. Sometimes he and Lup had people travel with their caravan for a few days or a few weeks with stories of their soulmates to share over a hot meal. Taako hated these stories. They always had questions on how Taako ever planned to meet his own soulmate if he never ventured any further than the caravan and the kitchen he had been provided. Taako reasoned that he had his twin, and that was all he really needed, or at least all he told himself he needed. Lup was his ground. The one warm presence he had in his life, and the only one he trusted enough to keep him from being swept away and lost in the unforgiving and ever changing world they lived in. If someday that magically changed to include this elusive soulmate then so be it, but for now all he needed was Lup and the kitchen they spent their life in. 

Kravitz had grown up with the words “I love you” printed neatly on the inside of his forearm. He knew what the words represented. His parents had told him as much along with every other adult in his life. Kravitz had waited in anticipation for the day that he would meet his soulmate. Then his life was cut short by a series of rash, and poor decisions targeted toward saving his parents from the plague that had taken hold of them. His father had gone first and it looked as if his mother would be following shortly behind. When he saw the crescent markings in her pupils one day during her trance he knew he didn’t have much time. If he had been thinking clearly at all he would have known that there was no way to save someone once they reached the point of transcendence. Her days were numbered as the gate to Arvandor was being opened for her. Kravitz had not intended things to go the way they did. He had called on every cleric he knew and attempted every bard spell he had learned that might change their condition. He was too desperate and his judgement was far too clouded by his emotions for him to foresee the consequences of his actions.  
The ritual seemed innocent enough. They told him it wasn’t even real necromancy. All it was was an advanced cleric spell that would protect his mother. It would give her another chance at beating the illness... he had been a fool and only realized his folly when it was to late. He would never truly know what happened after his soul was stripped from his body but he could make guesses.  
Working under the Raven Queen, to him, meant that he could continue living a sort of muted life in service to her and atone for the mistakes he made and the harm he might have caused people. It also meant that he would live a life without ever meeting his soulmate. Kravitz had resigned himself to this fact and reminded himself of it whenever he started to wonder about what his soulmate would have been like or how they could have met. 

The application was a joke. Taako and Lup had stolen them from a man’s briefcase when he came to their caravan and filled them out for fun, making jokes out of each question and unceremoniously dumping them and the briefcase onto the table in front of him during breakfast. Never had they expected the man to keep the applications and it came as even more of a surprise when their caravan was hunted down three weeks later by a well dressed gnome who requested to speak with Taako and Lup by name. Taako certainly thought they would be reprimanded for making a joke out of such an official organization, not that they had been chosen out of what was surly hundreds of more qualified applicants. He felt even less qualified when he heard about the bond engine and how that functioned. Taako knew he wasn’t exactly the type of person to form anything resembling a bond with anyone, let alone one strong enough to make an engine work. That was always Lup’s strong point. She was the more trusting one and he made sure no one hurt her. She spoke to people and got them accepted into caravans. She made friendships with the people they worked with and Taako was just there. He made sure she was safe and only when he was certain they wouldn’t hurt his sister he let them close to him. That meant there was no problem leaving the planet for him. No regrets or feelings that he was leaving anything special behind. Lup was with him and that was really all he needed. Whoever claimed they could listen to him talk all day could wait.  
After the Hunger appeared and it was made clear that they couldn’t return to their plane, Taako started to wonder about the words on his arm and what this meant for his own soulmate. He only thought about it when he was alone, and he only let himself ponder it briefly. These brief sessions of thought became more like a muted monologue when he watched Lup and Barry fall so far into a deep love. He never heard Lup say the words on Barry’s arm but he had heard Barry say “Yeah” over a thousand times. It didn’t matter though. He knew they were soulmates. There couldn’t be anyone better for each other than them. Still, sometimes, if he had enough wine to fully relax, he would wish he had something like that. His soulmate was dead though. Lost to the hunger. 

“I could listen to you speak all day.”  
Taako’s ear perked up at the words, and his eyes flickered down to the covered sentence on his left forearm. He didn’t think about it often, but it felt right to keep it covered. The words were his and openly showing them off felt like a betrayal to someone he didn’t yet know. Sazed had probably only ever seen the words in brief glances over the few years they had been traveling together, not to say that he hadn’t tried multiple times to convince Taako to display them more openly. Taako was adamant, however, on his insistence to keep them covered, but he couldn’t quite place why he felt so strongly about it.  
Taako had been explaining a recipe he was working to perfect when Sazed’s words interrupted him. The sentence was close to what was inscribed on his arm, close enough that he had to second guess himself on the exact phrasing. It was wrong. His arm said talk. Not speak. Taako looked back up at Sazed and slowly fell back into conversation, trying to brush off the eerie feeling the near quote gave him. Sazed was great, he reminded himself. Almost exactly perfect...almost. Sometimes he was demanding. Sometimes it felt like he didn’t care what Taako wanted, but that was just because Sazed worked a lot to get them to each show and help with as much as he could. Definitely not because he didn’t actually care about Taako. Definitely not because Sazed saw Taako as an easy way to make a living. Definitely not because in the last few weeks it seemed as though nothing he did made Sazed happy with him. Taako forced a smile while he talked, casually fixing his sleeve over his arm and folding his hands in his lap.  
He found his eyes wandering to Sazed’s arm and the words he proudly boasted. “I can’t stop thinking about you.” Sometimes Taako couldn’t stop thinking about him, but he didn’t really know if it was because he loved Sazed. The more he thought about Sazed and how he felt around him the more he realized he wished he didn’t need Sazed. And that was it, wasnt it? Taako kept Sazed around out of necessity. He didn’t know what he would do if he didn’t have Sazed to help him with everything. Especially on the days where his head seemed to fill with static and a deep pain of longing pierced his heart. Taako didn’t know what caused these feelings or what he was missing but days like that Sazed was a welcome familiarity that grounded him and made the static a little more bearable.  
“Taako, are you really going to just brush by that?” he asked, stopping Taako mid sentence.  
“Brush by what?” he asked, eyes lowering away from Sazed’s.  
“What I said, Koko,” he clarified, fixing his eyes on Taako who slowly met them as if by force. He felt a shiver run though his body. Sazed occasionally called him ‘Koko’. Normally when he wanted something from him. The name always brought the static into a flair of heat as if that name should mean something to him. Taako didn’t know what it should mean but it did not belong on Sazed’s tongue. Taako blinked and forced the static to quiet.  
“I mean... what do you want me to say? Thank you? You’re welcome?” Taako asked, mentally kicking himself for the response. Sazed wouldn’t be happy with that.  
“I would expect you to tell me something along the lines of what I said,” Sazed replied, not so subtly hinting toward the words that graced their arms. His voice was edged with annoyance and something a little heavier that sent a shiver down Taako’s spine.  
The elf bit the inside of his cheek and absently began toying with his braid. “Um yeah man, right... I mean, I like talking to you. You’re good at listening,” he said slowly, hoping to appease the other for the time being. He could think of a better way to get back on his good side again later.  
Sazed wasn’t pleased with the answer, but he accepted it for the time being. He gave Taako a slow nod and stood.  
Taako watched all of this from where he was sitting. He knew Sazed was displeased with him. He knew Sazed would eventually return with some punishment that Taako would no doubt have to endure. This knowledge only served to make him more anxious. He should be comforted with Sazed’s dismissal. Normally he’d receive some kind of drawn out speech about how Taako didn’t care or Sazed would deliver some kind of cold, cutting remark. He never raised his voice though. Taako had never once heard Sazed yell at him. No, Sazed was like a candle flame, he burned slowly and long unlike a campfire that burned hot and hungry. Both are still dangerous if they’re not attended but the candle always has fuel. A campfire had to be fed or it dies.  
Taako’s hands twisted at his braid and pulled strands of hair from the intricate weave he had spent the morning working on. He jumped, hands curling tightly around his messy braid, when the door banged shut. He could see Sazed, his candle, walking away from the tavern and out toward the stables where their horses were kept and the cart was parked. They were due to leave in the morning for Glamor Springs and, while Taako always looked forward to his shows, he was dreading the time alone he would have to spend with Sazed while on the road. Sazed could shower him with love and affection one minute and the following leave him questioning what he did wrong and why he always seemed to screw everything up. He doubted there would be much affection in his near future.  
Taako was certain their journey to Glamour Springs wouldn’t be enjoyable given their last few conversations. First it was Sazed wanting a bigger role in the show, then it was him wanting to change the name of Sizzle it Up with Taako, and now it was his bear recital of Taako’s words. Taako had doubted it would be a good idea to give him a part in the show and it wasn’t because Sazed was a bad cook or that he thought people would stop showing if he did any of those things. No. Taako was reluctant to let Sazed have a bigger presence in the kitchen because the kitchen was the only safe place Taako had from Sazed. Sazed couldn’t ridicule him or embarrass him on stage in front of the audience if Taako didn’t give him a place on stage, so he kept the time during his show to himself and maintained it as his safe place.  
Taako had always felt at home in the kitchen when he was cooking, and it was something he didn’t think anyone could take from him. During their journey to Glamour Springs Taako focused on that feeling, the feeling of being in his kitchen on stage with his audience staring up at him in loving admiration while he cracked jokes and went through the recipe for his thirty garlic cloves chicken. It made the ride a little easier with his excited anticipation for the show keeping him afloat in the tremulous sea that is Sazed.  
Their arrival in Glamour Springs was met by mixed emotions.  
Taako was beyond relieved to arrive in Glamour Springs and have a reason to be away from Sazed for a few hours while he shopped. The two day ride there had been long and filled with a palpable tension. The elf hopped off the cart with his pouch of gold in hand and started toward the town. His steps faltered when Sazed pulled up beside him. A corner of his mouth dipped into a displeased frown upon feeling an arm loop around his. He could feel himself tense and drew in a slow breath, forcing his muscles to relax and the smile to return to his face.  
“Did you need something, Sazed?” he asked, throwing on a heavy layer of false joy to cover the tension building in his chest and constricting his throat.  
“I thought it would be nice if we spent the day together. Then I can see all the hard work you put into your cooking behind the scenes.”  
Taako felt his heart drop into his stomach and steeled himself for a long day with Sazed. He nodded in response to Sazed’s words and continued toward the market area of Glamour Springs. He had thrown up a smile and greeted everyone in his usual fashion despite his unexpected company. Taako tried to relax and lose himself in the comfort of grocery shopping and prep for his show, but it was hard when Sazed was always two feet away from him and watching his every move. 

Sazed was smothering him with his watchful, judging eyes. He studied every move Taako made and walked closely beside him through the near empty streets of Glamour Springs.  
Sazed listened with little interest as Taako chatted with his fans. If he allowed him a last day with his fan, or if he allowed his fans a last day to talk to their idol then the blow wouldn’t hit as hard as opposed to Sazed keeping Taako to himself for a last day of quiet conversations and hushed words. He wouldn’t lie to himself and say that would be better. Taako hadn’t reveled in his presence in weeks. He hadn't laughed at his jokes or greeted him with as near a bright smile as the one he wore now in about a month. He watched Taako smile and laugh with his fans. Sazed allowed himself to share Taako for one last day. He followed Taako through the streets and threw out the occasional comment. He saw how tense Taako became when he spoke and delighted in every taut muscle or cautious glance his presence provoked from Taako.  
By the time they made it back to the wagon Sazed had watched Taako converse with nearly all of Glamour Springs while buying the few groceries he actually needed for the show and a hand full of other ingredients he likely wouldn’t be using in the near future.  
Sazed walked into the wagon and began his usual routine of prepping food for the show. Taako had gone to set up his kitchen and open the wagon up so the audience could watch, while he did the one job he was allowed for one last time. A small group had already gathered by the time Sazed had reached the point of washing the garlic and setting it aside for one last time. He could feel his heart skip a beat as he peeked out at the audience. He ducked back into his workstation and took the cooking oil. Sazed slipped a small vial out of his pocket and held it tightly in his hand. He took a deep breath and willed his hand to stop shaking long enough for him to add the contents into the oil. This was his best shot. Everything in the meal would be cooked in this oil. It was the only wet ingredient and therefore the only ingredient that would properly conceal the poison. Sure there was a small chance that Taako would taste the food before he served it but it was minimal and even if he did people would see him get sick. They would see Taako from TV become sick from his own cooking and then no one would come to his shows. If everything went well at least a few people in the audience would be given samples of the food. They would become sick. They would die. Glamour Springs would attribute their death to Taako’s show and Taako from TV would fall. It was the perfect plan really. There was no way it would come back on Sazed because Taako was selfish with his glory and never shared any of his success. As far as anyone else knew he never even touched the ingredients.  
It was only a moment later that Taako poked his head in. A second after Sazed had tucked the vial away and closed the oil container. It was something he had no reason to even be near because oil doesn’t need to be prepped, and he hoped for the sake of his plan that Taako hadn’t seen anything.  
“Everything ready?” Taako asked, going to grab the basket of ingredients and the chicken. He didn’t look at Sazed. He didn’t want to see him more than he had to. He had gotten himself into a good mood. His hair was pulled back into a neat braid and fell down his back curling around itself at the end. He was smiling and humming a soft song that seemed to be ingrained in his subconscious but not have any roots in his youth. He looked over Sazed’s work and paused when he got to the container of oil. His hand hovered just over the jar and for a brief moment. Sazed thought Taako had seen him, but then he picked it up and tightened the lid down. Taako placed it and everything else he needed in his basket and walked out. Sazed let out a breath of relief and sat down on one of the crates to wait out the show.  
There were at least forty people gathered in front of his kitchen when he opened the window cover. He pushed the wooden cover open and locked it in place. A few people cheered and called out to him. Taako flashed them a bright smile and started the show.  
“I’m Taako. Ya’ know, from TV,” he started, pulling out a cutting board and knife to start dicing his garlic cloves. Thirty Clove Garlic Chicken was probably his favorite meal to cook on the show but the garlic took forever to dice up for a cooking show. It was one of the few times he had Sazed do any real prep work for a meal. He diced up a few cloves and added them to the rest of the garlic.  
“So, we’re going to add some oil to the pan with some butter and let that heat up... Season your chicken with salt and pepper, and brown it in the pan,” Taako spoke as he performed each step, he added the garlic to the pan and masterfully instructed the audience through each step, adding in bits of magical flare to show off his talent and keep everyone entertained. When everything was perfectly cooked he pulled out an ornate plate. He laid the chicken onto a bed of rice and grilled vegetables. He placed a few garlic cloves on the top and, for the show of it, transmuted a handful of elderberries to decorate the plate.  
It was a dish he had made dozens times. Taako could probably even make it with his eyes closed.  
So when the audience started coming up and taking the samples he was offering, he thought it was a joke when the first person became sick. Then the next person started getting sick. Taako watched them and several more people took a sample. He could feel his hands start shaking as one by one more people became ill. He pulled the remaining samples back into the cart and off the counter. His heart fell into his stomach as the realization of what was happening hit him. He had poisoned his audience. Children. The elderly. Parents. All of them were poisoned and there was nothing he could do to help them. He felt like he was going to be sick as he started rushing to close up bus kitchen.  
“Sazed. Help me. We have to leave now!” he cried.  
Sazed jumped to his feet and fought back the urge to smile. His plan had worked. He could hear the sounds of his victory coming from the crowd. He started helping his frantic victim pack their things away and followed him up onto the cart. Taako had taken the reins of the horse and they were moving before Sazed could even find his seat. Tears were rolling down Taako’s cheeks and he could hardly see the road ahead of them. He didn’t know where they were going, but he knew they had to get out of there. Out of Glamour Springs and away from the horrible scene he had caused. 

Sazed sat in silence. There was nothing he could think to say. Nothing that would make the situation any better.  
“I killed them...” Taako whispered through his tears after nearly an hour of silence. It was enough to startle Sazed out of his silent reverie.  
He had been so sure something would happen to derail his plans. Nothing had gone wrong though. As Sazed predicted, Taako hadn’t tasted any of the meal. He had carefully planned around that. Taako tasted every meal he cooked and that had been the one hitch in his plan. Sazed didn’t want to kill Taako. He didn’t want to do any physical harm to him. All he wanted was to tear him down. Force him to realize he wasn’t perfect. If he took his glory and his fame and ruined it then Taako would have nothing. Sazed had spent months meticulously planning out how he would do it. He spent those months ruining Taako’s happiness. He had picked up on Taako’s loss of appetite when he fell into a poor mood and exploited it. Everything had gone as planned and he couldn’t be happier.  
They kept going for two days. Taako only handed over the reigns at Sazed’s insistence but he refused to let them stop. He didn’t sleep during those days either. He sat beside Sazed and fought back the urge to sleep. Every time he closed his eyes the images of people dying would hit him full force. He felt his stomach flip and fought back the urge to be sick at the thought of all the children dying. 

“I think it would be best for us to go our separate ways,” Sazed said as they neared the first town they had seen in the two days since Glamour Springs. He spoke evenly. His words fell with little emotion and he hardly gave Taako more than a brief look as he spoke.  
Taako blinked and looked up at Sazed. For the first time in months he wanted to beg him to stay. He wanted to throw his arms around him and plead with him to stay until he had figured out what to do. Taako didn’t want to be alone. He didn’t want to be wandering around Faerun alone with the images of dying innocent people floating through his mind.  
He swallowed thickly and nodded slowly. “Yeah... I get it,” he said. Taako’s voice was soft and, hearing it, Sazed knew he had won.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I hope you all enjoyed this. I'm working on the next chapter now and I hope to get it up soon. I really enjoyed writing this over the past few weeks. Let me know what you all think of it.


End file.
